So, I was just reading my book, and it discussed fear. It used various examples of the extent in which fear can paralyze you or inhibit your abilities to serve God. One example was a woman who refused to have people over because she viewed her house as not tidy enough. She used this excuse in order to stay in her comfort zone.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing the finger. I'm simply stating an example from the book. I am equally at fault as well. I can think of several examples, but don't care to venture too much into them. One example is that I avoid talking to certain people because I fear they'll ask me a question and I'll get upset and start crying in front of them. How ridiculous is that? Well, it's true. I've done this everywhere really. Family gatherings, church, school, work, etc. It is restricting my relationships with these people. How can we build each other up in the faith when I don't even get the courage to talk to them and be open with them?

Anyways, the author suggested that fear can be overcome by the Holy Spirit. And he admitted that this doesn't happen overnight, or nearly as soon as one might wish. We are sinful and we often resort to our habits despite them being destructive ones...sinful ones. I take it like an addiction. Your entire being can be renewed by the Holy Spirit. You can quench fear through the Holy Spirit. The author suggests that when you fail to address it by confessing your sin to the Lord and then praying for the Holy Spirit to keep you and help you change. I think that's awesome.

Anyways, I hold myself back due to fear in waaaay too many situations. One in particular is reaching out to strangers. There was a woman this past week at Sal Val dropping off items from her packed vehicle and the thought went through my head of assisting her or at least asking if she needed help, but then I was selfish and thought to myself...if she loaded up the vehicle and drove here by herself, I guess she figures she can handle it all. Even if she dismissed my gesture to assist her, it would have been a nice offer and at least acknowledge that I cared. Instead I went along my merry way and stayed in my comfort zone. You can tell it bothered me because I can still think of the details of the situation and still feel that way.

If God was willing to come to earth and die for our sins, why am I THAT selfish that I can't ask someone if they need help? It is really ridiculous, yet day in and day out I and you, we carry on like this. We are selfish, meaning, we inappropriately put our wants before the needs of others. I'm trying to get better at knowing, at least knowing, what my wants vs. needs are. I'm trying to understand the difference and get better at my thinking and priorities.

Anyways, I have a headache now and have a long work day ahead of me tomorrow. Hopefully I'll sleep better than last night. Nighty night.