"Kiss the rain. Whenever you need me, kiss the rain. Whenever I'm gone too far. Keep in mind we're under the same sky. Kiss the rain. Kiss the rain."-Billie Myers
I have various special moments while at work. Today I'm remembering one specific occurrence. This patient has difficulty verbalizing. I stuck to the whole "yes" or "no" questions. Towards the end of my shift, he said, "Thank you." Not only was it a shock to hear him verbalize something, but I made eye contact and he had a smile on his face. That warmed my heart so much. I went over to his side and grabbed his hand. I find that holding a patient's hand means a lot, not only to them, but to me as well. I gave him a strong grasp as if I was receiving a high honored award of some sort. He's my award. Our special moment was all that mattered. The smiles and eye contact and our bond meant everything to me. While I was leaving I kept glancing at him with a smile and hoping he was okay. I dread good byes so much. Today was also my last day at this hospital, so I had good byes with coworkers as well.
While with another patient I got nervous while taking his blood sugar and I totally dropped some items. He read me like a book and said, "Take your time sweetheart." He knew just what to say to make me calm down a bit. That was another special moment.
I had a nightmare two nights ago. It was awful. I was at my parent's house in the basement alone. All of a sudden I hear that someone else was down there with me. This man was in the computer room. I instantly ran as fast as I could up the stairs. He started kicking through the wall and while ascending up the stairs his legs were busting through the wall beside me. I got to the top of the stairs and slammed the door. I tried turning the bolt, but he was resisting my efforts. Then I woke up all freaked out.
I talked to a good friend about the dream and told him my analysis of it. He agreed but also told me that perhaps I need to face the man and confront my fears rather than temporarily shut them away. I was like wow, that's a really good point. He told me to let the door open and face the man. Defeat him totally face to face vs. delaying the process.
Then last night, I had like the total opposite dream. It was one of those romantic fairy tale dreams. I confessed my love for someone and he broke down in tears, hugged me, and confessed his love for me too. I don't remember details, but that's the jist of the dream.
Something that was on my heart was well being involed with the church. On ah what day was that, oh, Tuesday, I did the Shiloh stand at the fair. I had a really good time and it meant a lot to me. Afterwards Karen and Rich said something along the lines of "thanks for doing such a great job. if you ever wanna help out with youth related activities let us know." I didn't expect that nor did I want to be thanked for anything. It was quite a coincidence because that had been on my heart lately. I have this ah desire to serve at a church of some sort or some related like ministry or something. I don't really see myself as this great leader or something, but if someone tells and teaches me something I love helping out. What I loved at the stand was touching base with people and having conversations about this that and the other thing ya know. And then making people smile and laugh and them doing the same for me. I loved having people come to the stand and doing their name explanation and such. I wanted them to stay longer, but I know we're just a stand and people "shop" so to speak come and go from stand to stand. I just hoped that they would have a good day and they would receive Christ and accept His love and surrender to Him.
While a freshmen in high school I wanted to attend Washington Bible College for being a Christian counselor. Shocked? I'm not. I had been through an outpatient program at BelMont near Philly that summer for several weeks, so that kinda inspired me to reach out to others already have been reached out to. I called the college and spoke with a professor or the dean of that particular course of study or something and he referred me to this book and I ordered the book and read some of it. I'm not sure if I still have it at home somewhere, and I can't even recall the name. I still have that in my heart to counsel people. It's just I know how it feels and I've been counseled. Not that I'm some professional, but I have that desire to just listen to people and share myself and have them share himself with me.
Anyways, despite it raining all day, I think sometimes we need a raining all day day in order to accomplish certain things and shift our focus on them and also to appreciate sunny days. Take care.
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