what is this

What is this feeling that nothing will get better? What is this voice inside that tells me I am nothing? What is this?

I'm so done with everything. I don't have anything I'm looking forward to. Well, I am looking forward to seeing my parents & sister and her husband Feb. 11th. I also have the Run for the Cookies on Feb. 25th.

A good majority of what I feel is anxiety. I am so worried I'm practically making myself sick.

Hold me because I'm giving up and giving in.

I'm so heavy in your arms

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

I ran the Bloomsburg YMCA New Year's Eve 5k. It was one of the best races I've run. I totally cried afterwards because I'm in such awe of how God could love me despite me being a sinner. It's amazing that God humbled Himself to become a man to save us. He carried me through that race. Despite all the crap in my life, God carried me through! I'm glad I have Him.