Psalm 43:5 Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.
My mind has a way of ruining things. I could "have it all together," but still feel like a worthless piece of crap and wish I was dead.
My mom has said that I have a lot going for me, but what people forget to realize is that often when you see actors and actresses perform incredibly on stage and receive numerous awards, fame and fortune, are they truly fulfilled? Do they go home with a smile and feel content?
People tend to judge by what they know about you from a distance. For instance, someone could say someone's profession and immediately you think you know how smart they are, how much money they make, and whether they are getting pleasure from life. Really? Then, we assume we know their personality, physical attributes, habits, etc. I'm not denying the fact that I judge people from knowing very little; however, I'm saying that we tend to base a lot on what job/profession people have. Granted, you invest the majority of your life working, so why not choose something fulfilling? But, what is fulfilling? Tell me, what job is truly satisfying? What job could you do that when you come home and smile ear to ear and do a little happy dance? My point exactly. None.
I'm a nurse. I love helping people and being there for them; however, when I come home, I feel worthless. Why? My mind. No matter whether I did everything right or everything wrong or had complex patients or very simple ones, I feel the same. Worthless.
I feel like Jasmine from Aladdin when she gets stuck in that hourglass sand timer thing. I'm simply stuck. Time is going by, and I feel stuck.
I'd write more, but I'm getting upset.
