I give You all that I am

I am not quite sure how I'm feeling lately. I passed my boards, and that's fine and everything, but at the same time I still am clenched with fear. 


I don't feel as much anymore. I just feel "blah" if you will. At times I feel alive, but I've felt more dead than alive. Sigh. There's gotta be something to look forward to. 


I'm going to miss Lissa so much. She's leaving soon for her military training and then to be stationed as an Army nurse. Damn. I really enjoy our friendship, and I'm scared of not having any friends around here. I'll be living with two girls and a DOG soon; this Tuesday to be exact, but I still feel alone. 


At times I wish people would just understand me and love me for who I am and despite my flaws and I just fear what they think. I don't have that peace of contentment. I feel I always have to prove myself and earn people's love. 


Note to self: don't look through Jeremy pictures at night when you're missing him. 
Good night to all and to all a good night.