Black

That's right. I'm listening to Pearl Jam's, "Black," as I type this. It's my favorite Pearl Jam song. Anyways, Max is cuddling with me on the couch :-D Yesssssssssssss.

Well, yesterday it snowed here, like, actually sticking and such. Nothing major, but it depresses me because it confirms that winter is surely on its way. Winter officially begin on the 21st I think. I could rant and rave about how much I hate the winter, but I'll save that for another time.

Right now I'm feeling anxious about the future. Tomorrow I move into my apt., so that in and of itself is an adjustment. My dad is lending me his vehicle for the semester, so that'll be an adjustment having a vehicle in my possession! Especially having it in the winter :-/ It just got inspected and didn't need anything significant just an oil change I believe. That's been on my mind, as well as the semester of course.

Now, I withdrew twice from this class, so I haven't even taken it for like one month if that. I know some things to expect, but it'll be new to me some of it as well. There will be new students for me to meet and I'm not sure what professors will all be involved, I mean I know most, but I'm not sure if anything has changed professor wise. The uniforms have changed, so luckily Katie was able to help me with that.

I'm looking forward to seeing people again. I'm so secluded living at home, and I hate it for that. I'll get to see Katie, Joel, possibly Megan, Briggs, Anna, Pastor Lyon & Barb, & Heather all within the first two days :-D I'll get to see people from church like the Shifflets, Meyers family, & Tim. So yeah, I'm looking forward to all that.

For some reason I get very anxious before new things. I'm just on edge right now for some reason and it's not like I should be, yet I am. I'm very sensitive to how people react to things, so I'm just nervous how all these people who I'll be interacting with will react to seeing me and hoping I don't say/do stupid things. I fear rejection and abandonment as far fetched as that is regarding these relationships, I fear that a lot.

Anyways, I wanna go running outside today, so I'm hoping the roads are ah okay around the neighborhood. I know the main roads are fine, but I mean I just don't wanna slip and break my skull ya know :-P That might be important to still keep intact.

Well, I'm going to watch some nursing skill videos, take Max out, and workout.
"When I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me, you make everything all right"-Train